Our First Home

Today we signed the papers on our new--and very first--home. It's a bit surreal at times to think about us owning a home. I remember telling Cale just over a year ago that it would be a dream for us to buy a house. It seemed like such a huge amount of money and commitment and those are both things I've never seemed to have a lot of until just recently.

Thankfully, the larger sums of money is really due to the combination of  wise financial decisions and the generosity of friends and family. As for the commitment part, I've just learned the value and reward of following through and keeping my word. I have created some disasters in my life, that's for sure, by being irresponsible.

Tonight I am grateful for grace. God's grace to be specific. I was just thinking how I do not deserve this beautiful home and the many other things He has given me---especially forgiveness. I was thinking how I've made some really really foolish decisions in life and yet He still chooses to bless me and lavish His love upon me, time and time again. And might I add that doesn't mean I haven't suffered and paid the consequences for a lot of those mistakes!

I guess I don't ever want to become tired of being grateful for my present circumstances. Or having a contrite heart at the same time.I want to always remember that I am broken. That way God can always be the one to continue to piece me back together.And even in the times where I am happy and feeling so thankful for all wonderful things going on, I still want to remember that it is really only by His grace that I can call myself blessed.

Thank you Jesus for the gift of new life!

Bittersweet

Tonight was our last night of us hosting home community at this house off Beech St. I can barely believe almost 9 months have gone by since we first moved in here. I can remember that day fairly well, actually. It was not a relaxing one that's for sure! You can ask my home community. Tey were there supporting us, helping us pack and load and unload our stuff. But just imagine a sentimental 6 month pregnant woman moving out of her brand new first apartment that she shared with her husband into a 100 year old, creaky, musty unfinished house that they were to occupy for a short 9 months. Oh the stress, discouragement and tears that came with that move. :)

So much has changed since then. Gideon was born and my whole life has shifted and I am on new journey with Cale. I was just thinking today what did I used to do with my time?! Now it's a matter of planning out when and how I can do something as simple prep dinner or respond back to my emails. As a new mom, I couldn't understand how other mothers out there got things fully done with an infant! Thankfully I have found some freedom in being confident that Gideon and I's schedule is one that benefits both of us and consequently, my husband as well.

Well, back to my original reason for writing tonight. I am sitting here, quite tired but thinking plenty about how blessed I am. After everyone from home community left and the house was quiet and still, I began to put a few items back in there place but then stopped myself. I knew Cale was waiting for Gideon and I to come upstairs but I also knew that this would be the last time I'd see this "mess" in this house--that it would be the last time this place probably showed signs of love, hospitality, community...Jesus.

With a smile on my face I looked around the room and saw the plastic cup that the Buckman baby boys had both drooled on and dropped endlessly onto the floor throughout the night, growing and exploring the world around them. Then I noticed the hand me down baby clothes given to us by a thoughtful mother. Then the stack of dirty cloth napkins piled high by the sink to make our clean up that much easier. Then the large amounts of leftover food brought by eager friends wanting to provide and share a meal together.

It's bittersweet to know we are moving on from this place that God provided for us. A place that was bigger and better than anything we had been praying for in our home search. Truly, He can do immeasurably MORE than we can ask or imagine. I want to say I can imagine what He will do next in this new chapter of our lives. But I can't. And that's a very good thing. :)

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21